How do you treat a woman who has murdered her baby by abortion?

We are often asked how we minister to women AFTER they have killed their baby by abortion. Recently a precious friend spent months offering personal & particular help to a young mom who was abortion-minded. After the mother murdered her baby at 14 weeks, my friend asked, "What do we do now? How do we treat her? She is a close friend of my daughter's. We love her. This is so confusing. Can we continue to have a relationship with her? Everything has changed now that she has taken the life of the little one we have loved & have lost at her hand."

Through our mission we personally engage fifty or so women who are murdering their babies by abortion every week. I have been meeting these moms for over 16 years. Our combined experience as a missionary team has afforded us intimate counseling time with thousands of pre, mid & post abortive women. For more than half of the mothers we meet it is not their first abortion. (A number of the women have already aborted twice or more. Marian was arriving for her 8th abortion. The abortion clinic's record was 19 abortions on one mom. I heard of another record at an abortuary in NJ of 22 abortions on one woman.) Half of the women we minister to are already post-abortive. We are often asked how we minister to women AFTER they have killed their baby by abortion. Because we want to be true to Jesus Christ our response has been to share what the Word of God has commanded us to do in regards to how we relate to the woman who is guilty of shedding innocent blood.

The scripture is clear on how we are to view & treat the mother who murders her own innocent baby:

A man tormented by the guilt of murder will be a fugitive til death; let no one support him.
Proverbs 28:17 (NIV)

A murderer's tormented conscience will drive him into the grave. Don't protect him!
Proverbs 28:17 (NLT)

A man who is laden with the guilt of human blood Will be a fugitive until death; let no one support him.
Proverbs 28:17 (NAS)

A man that does violence to the blood of any person shall flee to the pit; let no man stay him.
Proverbs 28:17 (AKJV)

A man oppressed with the blood of a soul, Unto the pit fleeth, none taketh hold on him.
Proverbs 28:17 (Young's Literal Translation)

John Wesley notes that the meaning of the scripture here is: "None should desire or endeavour to save him from his deserved punishment."

Matthew Henry's commentary on Proverbs 28:17

This agrees with that ancient law, Whoso sheddeth man’s blood, by man shall his blood be shed (Gen. 9:6), and proclaims,
1. The doom of the shedder of blood. He that has committed murder, though he flees for his life, shall be continually haunted with terrors, shall himself flee to the pit, betray himself, and torment himself, like Cain, who, when he had killed his brother, became a fugitive and a vagabond, and trembled continually. 2. The duty of the avenger of blood, whether the magistrate or the next of kin, or whoever are concerned in making inquisition for blood, let them be close and vigorous in the prosecution, and let it not be bought off. Those that acquit the murderer, or do any thing to help him off, come in sharers in the guilt of blood; nor can the land be purged from blood but by the blood of him that shed it, Num. 35:33.

Matthew Henry's Commentary on Numbers 35:33

1. That wilful murder should be punished with death, and in that case no sanctuary should be allowed, no ransom taken, nor any commutation of the punishment accepted: The murderer shall surely be put to death, v. 16. It is supposed to be done of hatred (v. 20), or in enmity (v. 21), upon a sudden provocation (for our Saviour makes rash anger, as well as malice prepense (NOTE: Contemplated or arranged in advance; premeditated) , to be murder, Mt. 5:21, 22), whether the person be murdered with an instrument of iron (v. 16) or wood (v. 18), or with a stone thrown at him (v. 17, 20); nay, if he smite him with his hand in enmity, and death ensue, it is murder (v. 21); and it was an ancient law, consonant to the law of nature, that whoso sheds man’s blood, by man shall his blood be shed, Gen. 9:6. Where wrong has been done restitution must be made; and, since the murderer cannot restore the life he has wrongfully taken away, his own must be exacted from him in lieu of it, not (as some have fancied) to satisfy the manes or ghost of the person slain, but to satisfy the law and the justice of a nation; and to be a warning to all others not to do likewise. It is here said, and it is well worthy the consideration of all princes and states, that blood defiles not only the conscience of the murderer, who is thereby proved not to have eternal life abiding in him (1 Jn. 3:15), but also the land in which it is shed; so very offensive is it to God and all good men, and the worst of nuisances. And it is added that the land cannot be cleansed from the blood of the murdered, but by the blood of the murderer, v. 33. If murderers escape punishment from men, those that suffer them to escape will have a great deal to answer for, and God will nevertheless not suffer them to escape his righteous judgments. Upon the same principle it is provided that no satisfaction should be taken for the life of a murderer (v. 31): If a man would give all the substance of his house to the judges, to the country, or to the avenger of blood, to atone for his crime, it must utterly be contemned. The redemption of the life is so precious that it cannot be obtained by the multitude of riches (Ps. 49:6-8),

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So, how are we to treat the woman who has murdered her baby? We are to treat her with full respect for God's requirement of how we treat a person who has slain an innocent person & has not been sentenced to just punishment for her crime by the magistrate. We are to treat her as a pre-meditated murderer. We must give her no support & we must be rigorous & honest in pursuing justice for the baby. She must not be offered comfort but left to the slough of despair, the pit of misery that is the place where all murderers go when they are guilty but escape justice. If you have been a friend or the abortive woman is a family member, your relationship cannot remain as it was. I explained this to a woman whose mother works in the abortuary the other day. If your husband was sleeping with another woman, would you have the same respect for him? Would you continue to treat him as if nothing had happened? If your neighbor had raped your daughter, would you greet him in the same friendly manner as usual? Would you bake him an apple pie & bring it over for him to enjoy? There are no more stocks & pillars, but there should always be a stigma attached to grave, willful sin. Sadly, with abortion the predominant philosophy is; "She is hurting. Give her a hug. Treat her with love. This is going to be hard for her." Would you think that is how your friends should treat your adulterous husband? Would you want people to pour acts of kindness upon the man who raped your daughter? What sort of respect does that show for the innocent victim when the perpetrator is comforted in their sin?

Take the holy Law of God to women (and men) who have slaughtered their young. Let the Sixth Commandment have its full effect on the hell-bent sinner. To do any less is witholding the law, which is perfect, converting the soul. Once the guilty mother has stopped justifying or excusing herself for the sin of murder against her baby and against God, then, & only then, is she ready to hear the grace of the gospel. If a woman's mouth is shut & she is no longer giving reasons why she 'had' to do it or blaming others for murdering her baby & the mother appears genuinely humble & repentant, commend her to the grace of God in Jesus Christ. (Listen to Hell's Best Kept Secret. It will help you understand this biblical approach to evangelism: http://www.livingwaters.com/learn/hellsbestkeptsecret.htm) If an abortive mom is impenitent, let her know that because of the instruction of God & the dictates of your own conscience, you are going to remove the comfort of your friendship. Just as you would (I hope) no longer be friends with someone who was sleeping with someone else's husband or someone who had raped a little girl, break off your friendship until the guilty mother shows signs of true remorse for the slaughter of her child. There is no need to be mean or cruel in the manner in which you carry out this command from God. You can & you must do this in LOVE. Our greatest desire is for the woman to repent & for her to run to Jesus for He is the only source of grace that saves, forgives & heals of sin. And may God use your biblical response &, by the work of His Holy Spirit, bring the woman to reconcilition in Jesus Christ.

To reiterate: Don't be afraid to address child-murder as sin. We are finding that many with women are murdering more than two of their infants --- soon America will be like the Soviet Union, where women average 6-9 abortions. Don't rely on your feelings, for feelings can & often are, deceiving. Be biblical. Perhaps God will use our obedience to bring about a spiritual awakeningthrough fear of the Lord & a proper stigmatization of human sacrifice.

I hope this helps you to understand why we do not refer mothers who have killed their babies to post-abortive ministries for support. The devil has made light of abortion and is licking his lips with the blood of 1.3 million little innocents in our nation every year. The world & the flesh & the visible church has by & large tolerated and sympathized with the devil. Enough is enough.

Patte Smith
Sanctuary Ministries
www.sanctuaryministries.blogspot.com

PS You may want to do a bible study on the testimony of two of three witnesses to help to solidify your understanding of the sin of murder(including abortion) & how we are to respond biblically. You might begin at Deuteronomy 17:6 (http://bible.cc/deuteronomy/17-6.htm) & proceed from there. This biblical teaching is also another reason why we go to the killing places. After all, in Acts 1:18 Jesus said: "You shall be My witnesses." (cf Is 43:10) Amen? Amen!